Leaving on a Jet Plane

"Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
-Matthew 5:42

Trust is a funny concept. A thing much harder done than said. Currently, I am trusting the bathroom scale which tells me that both of my bags are 15 pounds over weight (another 5 pounds and I will need to say adios to my luggage). I am trusting that the travel-sized shampoo, conditioner, and lotions that are stowed away nicely in my carry-on are actually 4 ounces and (therefore acceptable for flying) and will not be trashed upon going through security, and that tomorrow, my alarm will go off at 4:00 a.m. for an early-morning "get out of bed or miss your flight!" wake-up call. Obviously I can not be 100% certain of any of the above, and yet, I find it so much easier trusting in these trivial things than in God's ability to overcome all obstacles and conquer any concerns, doubts, and even fears in my life.

Last Spring, I received an email from my college academic adviser regarding the opportunity to take part in a year-long Honors Thesis project on a topic of my choice. Realizing that this experience could help me focus my studies and plan for the future (whether that be grad school or a career), I felt lead to accept the challenge. As September rolled around I was still amidst the struggle of determining a suitable topic. I wrestled with the idea of extending the research project I had started during my semester working as an intern for the British Parliament, "Women in Politics: Inequality Within the British Government," and compare it with the U.S. gender issues. However, while I felt passionate about this topic, something didn't seem "right." Time passed and with kind and gentle proddings from my adviser ("let it percolate and then go with your best sentiment") I decided to explore the impact of the United States on the Dominican Republic through the influence of Microfinance. Who knew that this one decision would change everything.

By the end of the semester, several things were underway. The first, I decided to apply to the GROW Internship with HOPE International as the Spring Programs Intern. I felt as though this opportunity to get better acquainted with HOPE's work and staff would aid me greatly in my understanding of the global impact of microfinance, as well as provide me with significant data to focus a large majority of my research on. Much to my delight, I was accepted into the program and while snow days, unexpected deaths in the family, and time demands of senior year prevented me from venturing to the Lancaster office more than once a week, I am incredibly grateful to the individuals who encouraged me and challenged me during this experience. A second thing that had occurred during this time, was the presentation of an opportunity to venture to Zambia with the Messiah College Collaboratory. Although I have been involved in the Microeconomic Development Group (MED for short) at Messiah for the past 2 years and had agreed to act as project leader for a marketing initiative for Forgotten Voices International, I had given very little though to accompanying a MED members on their quest to establish Savings and Credit Associations in a rural Zambian village. However, like the GROW internship, I felt a desire and push to look into this trip further, and after praying and crunching numbers, found that this trip could include me.

Fast forward 3 months and I found myself spending the majority of my time analyzing data, writing new sections in the thesis, attempting to finish a spanish minor I had decided (the semester beforehand) to add on, and trying to make MED meetings and Africa Site Team meetings work into a rather busy schedule. In the end, (and only by God's grace), I finished the beast of a thesis at 100 pages the Wednesday prior to graduation, having concluded that their may be a slight correlation between the Gini Index of the DR and the influence of microfinance. :)

Graduation came and went and it was difficult to get a good grasp of all of life's changes as the team would fly to Africa the following Tuesday. During this time, God started illustrating to me how, truly, everything that I had worked towards, studied, explored, read up on, stressed over- actually had a purpose! The experience in Africa was incredible. I learned about myself- about my weaknesses and about the importance of relying on one another. I learned that people living in third-world conditions are further advanced in unexpected areas than my Western brothers and sisters. I experienced a world where America wasn't the big power- where individuals live fulfilled and happy lives without the internet, electricity, or even a local McDonalds. I experienced microfinance firsthand and witnessed the empowerment that came when local people realized the significance of the resources in their possession and recognized the incredible giftings God has given each of them. As any (and every) member of my team could attest to, I encountered individuals who were treated significantly different as a result of their gender and I was challenged to understand life from a different perspective- an unequal perspective. Never before had I been asked such unique and serious questions about my physical appearance. "Why is your nose so small and straight? Why is your butt so flat? Is it because your mother made you sleep on your back when you were a small child? Never before had I felt ashamed of my ethnicity. I found each and every one of my Zambian brothers and sisters beautiful- but my host mother assured me that my hair was far better and that she wished hers curled like her white friends.

Also during this time, I recognized commonalities between us foreigners and our host families. My mother, Molar, would look at Stacey ("Stazia") and myself and tell us how incredibly blessed she felt to have daughters under her roof. Molar has 6 sons and she told us that having females around is quite nice. One evening during our long walk back from the Brethren in Christ Church, I said, "God is good." And Molar, replied, "All the time." This experience truly allowed me to understand that although barriers between cultures exist: traditions, history, beliefs, language... their is still something exceedingly strong that bonds us to one another.

Although I have experienced more than enough instances in just the past 6 months which have illustrated to me that God is good, God is faithful, and God is just, I have still been holding back. The morning of the team's departure to Zambia, I confirmed a job placement in the Dominican Republic with HOPE International starting in the middle of July. For weeks I had been praying about whether this opportunity was a good fit for me and whether I was qualified. At the time, I was in the process of enrolling at UNC Chapel Hill in NC for the accelerated nursing program. I felt that this was a secure and beneficial arena to go ahead in and the possibility of ditching my Plan A for an international job rocked my perfectly planned out little world. However, as I often need blunt and to the point guidance, God provided me with an answer and, even more important, with peace.

In Jeremiah 1, Jeremiah describes God's call in His life. He states,

⁴ The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

⁵ "Before I formed you in the womb I knew ^a]">[a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

⁶ "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

⁷ But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Yes, this is what I read only moments after pouting and "telling" God that I couldn't move to the DR, due to the reality that I am unable to speak Spanish fluently. Nope. Not good enough. Go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. It truly does not get any clearer than that. :)

Which brings me to present day (thank God right?). I leave for the DR in approximately 12 hours, and 30 minutes. I am seriously excited for this (very) unknown journey ahead of me and while I know that the next few weeks and months could be exceedingly difficult, I am hoping to trust. To stop what I am doing ever so often and thank God for his faithfulness. To thank God for the opportunities He has provided in my life and in the lives of the people around me; acknowledging that truly everything is His. We are simply individuals He has entrusted to encourage and empower one another. To give to the one who asks of us, and to not turn away from the one who wants to borrow.

Let the journey begin.