Mi Dios es poderoso para salvar!

I can’t believe how fast time seems to go in the Caribbean.

This weekend has absolutely flown- however it has been fantastic. On Saturday, after saying goodbye to the HOPE team, I had the opportunity to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. While this might seem like a misallocation of my time in the Caribbean, I am beginning to understand the need for a balanced life. Things here have been non-stop and a day spent cleaning, organizing (and thanks to Becca and Claire’s helpful tip) 2 ½ episodes of Glee! (They kick you off after a certain amount of stream time). After a relaxing day, I accompanied the roomies and some of their Dominican friends to a local joint to learn how to dance the bachata, meringue, and salsa. We had a BLAST!

Today, we left for church at 10:15 a.m. only to return to our humble abode in Gazcue at around 6:00 p.m. It was a LONG but fantastic afternoon. One thing that I should mention is that today, it hit me. It really really hit me. 9 months- 1 year is a LONG time. My closest friends from Messiah will be reuniting in Philly in 3 weeks and I have already found myself wishing that I could be THERE. But my heart (and I am pretty sure a few laws of physics) tells me that I cannot be here and there. I need to choose one. And, right now, I choose to be here. I was so blessed yesterday to stumble across a friend’s FB status that quotes Jim Elliot- “Wherever you are, be all there.” It’s harder than it sounds.

Church in el barrio was incredible. A large group of people sitting in an open-to-the-elements second-story porch with a lead singer and a few musicians. I immediately started to sweat (which could have been a result of the heat and immobile fans) when I noticed that the outdoor church was not equipped with display screens to help me feel less like a foreigner. I have always disliked not knowing the words to songs and add on top of that the different language/ dialect component and things get worse. But, to my surprise, the worship leader opened up with Hillsong’s Mighty to Save- “Mi Dios es poderoso para salvar.” Wow. I was immediately back in London at the Dominion theatre, feeling completely overwhelmed by the sense that God is present. Everywhere.

Last spring, after a few days in London, Vanessa and I felt burdened, broken, and somewhat lost. We saw physical and spiritual poverty all around us and we were told multiple times that only 10% of the people in Great Britain considered themselves Christians. “This is a lost place,” muttered our cultural instructor. However, to our surprise, this statement was far from true. Within seconds of stepping into Hillsong church, we both broke into tears, recognizing that God was in control, even across the pond. Again, I identify this truth.

I fought to hold back tears this morning. One, because I knew that each and every one of my Dominican friends would be concerned, but also because I have convinced myself that maintain one’s state of mind is half the battle. Needless to say I ended up turning through my journal before service began and reading over several entries leading up to my decision to come here in the first place. Some marked times of sorrow, others, times of complete joy. But more than anything I saw how God has been preparing me. How I committed over and over to go wherever He would lead, to speak the words He gave me, and to seek His will for my life. Ack! If only I had known how difficult keeping that promise would be! 

I spent the afternoon with Becca and Claire at Becca’s former host family’s house. Claire decided to teach everyone to make Sushi (Dominican sushi that is!) and we had a great day in fellowship. I want to be present. I want to have energy to learn and to form lasting relationships. Right now, I am spent. I am exhausted and concerned for the weeks ahead. But I know God is so good. He is faithful and just. And above all else, Él puede mover las montañas . Mi Dios es poderoso para salvar!

El fin de la semana

Day 3 (en la oficina). So, it is becoming more and more obvious to me that this whole language learning thing is going to be DIFICIL. Seriously. I have met so many incredibly diverse and fantastic individuals in the main office in Santo Domingo. In fact several of them speak great English! The only problem with this is that it makes me lazy. I can go to the IT guys and ask for an internet connection in Spanish, but if I forget a word or two, they quickly see my struggle, want to help, and switch gears to English mode. I am praying that I can be persistent in learning and that I can be more outgoing and willing to speak to my friends in Spanish.

I had my first skype date two nights ago with Patrick! That was pretty exciting and it was good to see a familiar face. It has certainly been difficult not having the freedom to just grab my cellphone and send a quick “hey! how are you?” text. If you see him (all you New hampshirites), give him a hug for me!

Other BIG news- ! I spoke with Grant on Thursday and learned that he and the team of interns would be traveling into Santo Domingo for the weekend! Although talking with a fellow gringo who knows me (pretty) well was refreshing, last night we made the dream a reality and reunited at a co-workers house to hang out, dance some merengue, and relax after a very busy couple of days. After 2 long months of not bothering each other with our playful banter, it was sooo good to see him! I am pretty sure he picked me up, swung me around, and (as a result) was doused with whatever liquid I was holding in my hands. Good times. I also met a handful of other HOPE interns- all fantastic individuals. Spending time with Grant and hearing about his experiences thus far was truly encouraging. I had some opportunity to practice my spanish and gained confidence that, hey- I actually DO know how to speak la idioma!

This morning we said goodbye to a great group of accountants after strolling through the local market for some last minute souvenir shopping. I bought a small mirror for the room (a success!) and (thanks to Claire)met several great shop owners who have promised to sell me items at low prices if I bring groups through their section of the market. I am so thankful to the encouraging spirits of the accounting team and I will miss their insight and presence in Santo Domingo.

On a separate note- Claire made Becca and myself AMAZING banana pancakes (Jack Johnson would be proud) and LATTES. An incredible way to start any Saturday. I contemplated doing laundry but with the sky looking as ominous as it often does, I have decided to hold off. Two nights ago I experienced my first big island storm- I was woken up at 3:30 a.m. to the moist reality of leaky roofs. Being on the third (top) floor of our building has MANY benefits- but the proximity to the roof is not one of them. The window slats were going crazy and I could feel mist from the strong winds. I decided to get up and assess the situation only to recognize that rain was pounding down and the palm trees outside our window were bending over in the strong gusts of wind. Somewhat terrifying, but I just adjusted the mattress away from the bigger roof leaks, crawled back into bed, and put my head under the covers. haha. I felt like I was 6 again and recovering after watching a movie my parents had forbidden me from watching (freddie krouger). Fortunately we weren't hit by a hurricane!

My time thus far in SD (one week today!) has taught me that you need to take advantage of even the tiniest of moments. For example, after dropping off the team, Max drove Claire and myself home in the Esperanza van. However, this was one of the first times either of us had stopped for the past 7 days and within seconds we were both sleeping. Life here is so different. Their is little place for an "americanized- work ethic" and the sooner one realizes that the better off they will be. A "productive" day does not consist in how much I get DONE. Or how much I accomplish. It is far more collective. People rely on each other and work as a community, and as the girl who huffed and puffed when assigned a group project, this is certainly stretching me. I have realized that I love people- but that I like to write lists and cross things off the said "to-do" list. Here, to-do lists aren't always constructed. Things need to get done, but they are rarely communicated a few hours, let alone a few days, ahead of time.

I am learning to work in loud places, that the people with (what my culture would deem) the "smallest" jobs, often have the biggest hearts and greatest committment to their job. Our in-house saint, Dona Esperanza, told us on Friday that the rain from the previous night had closed all forms of public transportation from her home, and that she walked to the office!This is HUGE as Dominicans truly detest the rain and because a large majority of the roads were severely flooded.

Today I hope to relax, catch up on some much needed sleep, review some spanish verb conjugations, and call the boy and family. Love to you all.

Si Dios conmigo, quien contra mi?

Wow! Talk about a whirlwind! These first few days in la Republica Dominicana have flown by with little to no spare time for documentation, reflection, or (at times) breathing!
Since I last wrote, I have spent two full days in the Esperanza office in Santo Domingo getting to know co-workers, details of the job, and most importantly, dominicanisms. Although challenging at times, I have been continuously blessed by the patience of my fellow Esperanza workers and the encouragement they have provided me with.
I also had the opportunity to travel to Hato Mayor, one of 10 offices that Esperanza has in the DR, yesterday for the purpose of accompanying an accounting team from HOPE (made up completely of Messiah grads- represent!) to meet loan officers and the local branch officer. The past few days have consisted of meeting several new faces, attempting to remember names, and trying my best at cramming my head full of new vocab, phrases, and MFI jargon. While life has been non-stop, it has also been extremely exciting and rewarding.
Today, I traveled with the fearless and incredible Claire to La Ramona to meet up with a team from Colorado who is partaking in a weeklong “vacation with a purpose.” The individuals stay at a villa in Casa de Campo in La Ramona while exploring their faith and learning about microfinance in action. The day started early with a 4:30 a.m. wake-up call (which turned in 5:00 a.m. as I carelessly turned off my alarm clock in my sleep) and then a taxi ride to the “bus station” in downtown Santo Domingo. On the way to the bus stop, I felt a large thud under the left wheel of our taxi car and Claire soon explained that the driver had just hit one of Santo Domingo’s unusually large rats (think Rodents of Unusual Size here people- we are talking the size of Stella. Sick.) We soon arrived at the bus stop to where we boarded an express bus full of individuals traveling to La Ramona for work and other reasons. The bus was comfortable and air-conditioned and fully equipped with a flat screen television displaying the ride’s “feature film.” Yup, Anaconda 3 was not exactly the movie I would have selected for a 2 hour trek at 5:45 a.m., but hey- to each their own. Never before have I witnessed a movie that wholly consists of blood, guts, decapitation, oh, and did I mention blood? Yes, the anacondas escaped the inescapable cage, yes, all the bad AND good guys die, and yes, the heroine managed to blow up the two large anacondas (and all the recently hatched young-ins) while escaping a dilapidated building, beating up a man 4 times her size, and spending a long 30 seconds glaring him down so as to gloat of her victory before the bomb goes off. Let’s hope the Anaconda series decides to end on an upbeat note and stick to a trilogy. *note: after writing this blog I conducted an unofficial research study and identified that the anaconda series has in fact released 4 movies. Unfortunate, but that’s life.
Anyways, moving on. Also during the bus ride Claire mentioned that when it rains in the Dr, it pours. And sure enough within a few minutes of a few drops on the windshield, streets were experiencing flash flooding and cars were fording through 6 inches of water. Que increible! The rest of the day was absolutely amazing. I met a fantastic taxi driver who I was able to communicate in Spanish with (woot woot!) and I witnessed first-hand the incredible income disparity that is often reported about the DR. In a few short hours of being in La Ramona I visited Casa de Campo, a resort where individuals such as Vin Diesel and Enrique Iglesias own villas. These villas are absolutely incredible- fitted with a moat around the premises, two-story indoor waterfalls, and private pools. Shortly after I recovered my jaw from the floor, we once again were on the road, except this time to a local batey and barrio. The stark difference between the casa de campo- a tourist resort- and el barrio was mind boggling. In one place, tourists could enjoy the amenities of a fully furnished villa, equipped with maid, cook, and butler, while 45 minutes down the road were shanty houses and dirt roads; home to the majority of Dominicans. Interestingly enough, when I think back on the day, I realize that I experienced more of a culture shock walking into the villa in Casa de Campo than in meeting the families that live in the barrio.
In the Batey we were able to attend a banco de esperanza meeting where we saw bank members drop off loan payments and meet with their solidarity groups for a devotion. They answered all the questions we threw at them including their reasons for joining their group, the success of their businesses since receiving a small loan from esperanza, and their dreams and hopes for their children. What an incredible group of women! In the Barrio, we shopped inside a client’s colmado (a local general store) that she had expanded due to a microloan and met her 6 children (ranging in age from 3-18 years old). Although it was a long day, the individuals we met and the visitors we had the opportunity to interact with were phenomenal.
Although I continue to have fears about this position and about my abilities, I am continuously reminded of God’s presence with these people and in this place. I find this job to be exhilarating and challenging- a job with a purpose and one that matches my passion for poverty alleviation through sustainable methods. Last night, I was feeling rather incompetent, when I pulled from my purse an old fortune cookie paper from P.F. Chang’s (where else?) that read: “He who never makes mistakes never did anything that’s worthy.” So I am making that my motto for the time being. Don’t be shy, don’t be fearful, be willing to make mistakes. “Si Dios conmigo, quien contra mi?"

Todos son crean en el imagen de Dios

I can’t believe that it has only been three days since my departure from the “known.”

Time here seems to pass very differently- everything is so new and far from what I am used to that I feel as though my time spent thus far has passed by in a blur. I have already learned so much and surprisingly feel strangely connected. Thanks to dad’s ingenuity, I have managed to establish a landline in my apartment through a wifi phone connection which has allowed me to make phone calls without a disastrous charge to my bank account. However, I have been so busy meeting new people, learning the words for streets, markets, individuals, and DR slang that I have little (if any) time to do what I had originally intended to do (ie: read books on development, on the historical connections between the DR and Haiti, and refresh my memory of Spanish verb conjugations). I have determined to be committed to journaling whether that be via blogger or in a personal journal that I carry with me to jot down the (many) Spanish words that have escaped my memory bank in hopes of researching them later and committing them to memory.

My trip to Santo Domingo was an experience in itself. The morning started with a 4:30 a.m. wake-up call. A rush to wake myself up, say goodbye to a sleeping Bekkah, wake-up a groggy Rachel who insisted on accompanying me to the airport, weighing my over-packed bags one last time to ensure they were under the 99 pound limit which the nice Jet Blue assistant informed me of via the telephone a few days earlier, and then listening to dad recite his rather interesting list of Spanish vocab words which consisted of several “Goooooooool Gol Gol Gol’s” (yeah, I knew we shouldn’t have let him watch all that world cup tv).

Anyways, upon arrival at RDU, while waiting to weigh my bags (75 pounds and 85 pounds for anyone who cares to know), I was informed that due to strict import regulations, individuals traveling to the DR are only allowed 2 bags weighing (at most) 50 pounds each. Uh oh. I put on my sappiest act and even used the “missionary card,” but the nice and (very) patient lady assured me that if I didn’t remove the additional 55 pounds from my bag, the DR security team would and there was no way to retrieve or determine the said overweight articles. Lovely. So, needless to say, the next 15 minutes went as follows, frustration, desperation, and eventually (thank God!) determination. I cut out nearly 60 pounds of luggage in less than ten minutes (with the help of mom, dad, Rachel and several small garbage bags supplied by the lady who felt truly bad for making me ditch so many belongings), said a tearful goodbye to the family, got through security, purchased a bottled water at starbucks (which I later had to throw out at the gate), and then arrived at my gate with 5 minutes to spare. Talk about starting the trip off well!

Traveling from RDU to Boston, I had a short layover at Logan before departing for the island of Hispaniola. But life altered drastically shortly after locating my departure gate. Immediately, one thing was made clear. I would be the only American passenger on this flight! At first, I was intimidated. I immediately felt insecure in my knowledge of Spanish greetings until a beautiful little girl reminded me that smiling is universal. I sat mesmerized as she convinced her brother in her thick Dominican accent to sing the background part to a Justin Bieber “cancion” while she sang the “oh baby baby baby” part. I guess a love for mr. Bieber is universal.

The community I found myself among was alive and boisterous. Everyone greeted each other through hugs and a kiss on the right cheek. The stewardesses and flight crew (all American) joked amongst themselves that they hoped to get the flight off the ground as close to on time as possible. I had no idea the reality in their sentiments until I experienced a 1+ hour wait on the tarmac as individuals bustled and hustled to greet one another before eventually settling into their seats. I sat next to two incredible women, one from the DR and another who was fluent in Spanish but who also spoke English very well. I think she was traveling to the DR on holiday. Anyways we shared laughs, ginger snaps, and a few hugs after surviving a serious bout of turbulence. Upon landing in Santo Domingo, the entire plane erupted in applause- what a difference from the usual reserved murmurs of passengers, the beeps of revived cellphones, and the premature clicks of seatbelts.

As we began to depart the airplane, the woman who spoke English left me with the following advice: be patient, always listen, and always carry a journal with you to write down words that are foreign to you (I guess I will be doing a lot of writing!). Also, one of the stewards and I had sparked conversation and he wished me luck on the journey ahead. Que increible! Since then, my time spent in Santo Domingo has been one of adjustment and exploration. I hope to post photos of the apartment where I will be living on FB as well as some historical sites I have had the opportunity to travel to. These next few months are sure to become increasingly hectic, however I am trusting that God will continue to provide and to fill in where I fall short!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

"Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
-Matthew 5:42

Trust is a funny concept. A thing much harder done than said. Currently, I am trusting the bathroom scale which tells me that both of my bags are 15 pounds over weight (another 5 pounds and I will need to say adios to my luggage). I am trusting that the travel-sized shampoo, conditioner, and lotions that are stowed away nicely in my carry-on are actually 4 ounces and (therefore acceptable for flying) and will not be trashed upon going through security, and that tomorrow, my alarm will go off at 4:00 a.m. for an early-morning "get out of bed or miss your flight!" wake-up call. Obviously I can not be 100% certain of any of the above, and yet, I find it so much easier trusting in these trivial things than in God's ability to overcome all obstacles and conquer any concerns, doubts, and even fears in my life.

Last Spring, I received an email from my college academic adviser regarding the opportunity to take part in a year-long Honors Thesis project on a topic of my choice. Realizing that this experience could help me focus my studies and plan for the future (whether that be grad school or a career), I felt lead to accept the challenge. As September rolled around I was still amidst the struggle of determining a suitable topic. I wrestled with the idea of extending the research project I had started during my semester working as an intern for the British Parliament, "Women in Politics: Inequality Within the British Government," and compare it with the U.S. gender issues. However, while I felt passionate about this topic, something didn't seem "right." Time passed and with kind and gentle proddings from my adviser ("let it percolate and then go with your best sentiment") I decided to explore the impact of the United States on the Dominican Republic through the influence of Microfinance. Who knew that this one decision would change everything.

By the end of the semester, several things were underway. The first, I decided to apply to the GROW Internship with HOPE International as the Spring Programs Intern. I felt as though this opportunity to get better acquainted with HOPE's work and staff would aid me greatly in my understanding of the global impact of microfinance, as well as provide me with significant data to focus a large majority of my research on. Much to my delight, I was accepted into the program and while snow days, unexpected deaths in the family, and time demands of senior year prevented me from venturing to the Lancaster office more than once a week, I am incredibly grateful to the individuals who encouraged me and challenged me during this experience. A second thing that had occurred during this time, was the presentation of an opportunity to venture to Zambia with the Messiah College Collaboratory. Although I have been involved in the Microeconomic Development Group (MED for short) at Messiah for the past 2 years and had agreed to act as project leader for a marketing initiative for Forgotten Voices International, I had given very little though to accompanying a MED members on their quest to establish Savings and Credit Associations in a rural Zambian village. However, like the GROW internship, I felt a desire and push to look into this trip further, and after praying and crunching numbers, found that this trip could include me.

Fast forward 3 months and I found myself spending the majority of my time analyzing data, writing new sections in the thesis, attempting to finish a spanish minor I had decided (the semester beforehand) to add on, and trying to make MED meetings and Africa Site Team meetings work into a rather busy schedule. In the end, (and only by God's grace), I finished the beast of a thesis at 100 pages the Wednesday prior to graduation, having concluded that their may be a slight correlation between the Gini Index of the DR and the influence of microfinance. :)

Graduation came and went and it was difficult to get a good grasp of all of life's changes as the team would fly to Africa the following Tuesday. During this time, God started illustrating to me how, truly, everything that I had worked towards, studied, explored, read up on, stressed over- actually had a purpose! The experience in Africa was incredible. I learned about myself- about my weaknesses and about the importance of relying on one another. I learned that people living in third-world conditions are further advanced in unexpected areas than my Western brothers and sisters. I experienced a world where America wasn't the big power- where individuals live fulfilled and happy lives without the internet, electricity, or even a local McDonalds. I experienced microfinance firsthand and witnessed the empowerment that came when local people realized the significance of the resources in their possession and recognized the incredible giftings God has given each of them. As any (and every) member of my team could attest to, I encountered individuals who were treated significantly different as a result of their gender and I was challenged to understand life from a different perspective- an unequal perspective. Never before had I been asked such unique and serious questions about my physical appearance. "Why is your nose so small and straight? Why is your butt so flat? Is it because your mother made you sleep on your back when you were a small child? Never before had I felt ashamed of my ethnicity. I found each and every one of my Zambian brothers and sisters beautiful- but my host mother assured me that my hair was far better and that she wished hers curled like her white friends.

Also during this time, I recognized commonalities between us foreigners and our host families. My mother, Molar, would look at Stacey ("Stazia") and myself and tell us how incredibly blessed she felt to have daughters under her roof. Molar has 6 sons and she told us that having females around is quite nice. One evening during our long walk back from the Brethren in Christ Church, I said, "God is good." And Molar, replied, "All the time." This experience truly allowed me to understand that although barriers between cultures exist: traditions, history, beliefs, language... their is still something exceedingly strong that bonds us to one another.

Although I have experienced more than enough instances in just the past 6 months which have illustrated to me that God is good, God is faithful, and God is just, I have still been holding back. The morning of the team's departure to Zambia, I confirmed a job placement in the Dominican Republic with HOPE International starting in the middle of July. For weeks I had been praying about whether this opportunity was a good fit for me and whether I was qualified. At the time, I was in the process of enrolling at UNC Chapel Hill in NC for the accelerated nursing program. I felt that this was a secure and beneficial arena to go ahead in and the possibility of ditching my Plan A for an international job rocked my perfectly planned out little world. However, as I often need blunt and to the point guidance, God provided me with an answer and, even more important, with peace.

In Jeremiah 1, Jeremiah describes God's call in His life. He states,

⁴ The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

⁵ "Before I formed you in the womb I knew ^a]">[a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

⁶ "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

⁷ But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Yes, this is what I read only moments after pouting and "telling" God that I couldn't move to the DR, due to the reality that I am unable to speak Spanish fluently. Nope. Not good enough. Go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. It truly does not get any clearer than that. :)

Which brings me to present day (thank God right?). I leave for the DR in approximately 12 hours, and 30 minutes. I am seriously excited for this (very) unknown journey ahead of me and while I know that the next few weeks and months could be exceedingly difficult, I am hoping to trust. To stop what I am doing ever so often and thank God for his faithfulness. To thank God for the opportunities He has provided in my life and in the lives of the people around me; acknowledging that truly everything is His. We are simply individuals He has entrusted to encourage and empower one another. To give to the one who asks of us, and to not turn away from the one who wants to borrow.

Let the journey begin.